Helping a friend during a time of mourning is something that can be challenging to you. But it is also one of the best ways that you, as a human being, can show kindness and encouragement to another human being who needs somebody they can rely on. While it may not be possible to definitely draw the parameters of how you should help a friend, because every person deals with the pain of death so differently and every death is different, you will still be able to at least do certain things that are in general the right things to do for them. Here are some ways in which you could help a friend during a period of mourning.
Help Them Practically
One of the best ways to offer a hand would be with the funeral services. This will take a lot of the burden off the shoulders of your friend who has lost a loved one and will give them more time and space to actually get through their mourning in peace. If you are unable to handle all this alone, or it looks like the family or your friend is struggling, try to recommend professionals that can handle the planning and the execution of the memorial.
Check In Even After The Memorial
Greif has no deadline or timetable. It takes its own time to slowly pass and even then, there is always a little bit of pain associated with the memory of a lost one forever. Therefore, simply because the memorial has come to an end, do not think that all is well and that your friend no longer needs your help and support. They will perhaps need you now, more than before because the process is over, people have left and they may feel like the house is empty. Be there for them through the entire mourning process no matter how long it may take so that they are able to recover as best as possible.
Don’t Ever Compare Two Deaths
Death is harsh and hard. It does not matter whether your friend lost their sibling, parent or pet. It could just be really taxing in any case. One big mistake that a lot of people do would be to compare and think that one kind of mourning is lesser than the other. But that is never true. The pain is heavy on the person mourning no matter what the circumstances around the loss are. Just focus on being there for them with the same attitude regardless of which they have lost and avoid comparing.
Don’t Rush Through The Grieving
It could be the death of a 90-year-old who was suffering from a terminal condition and who your friend knew would be passing on soon, or it could be the death of a newborn who did not get enough time among the living. It could be a tragic accident of a teenager or the unexpected death of a beloved family pet. No matter what the situation is, the pain of losing somebody is extremely intense which is why it is important to guide your friend through healing completely as much as possible. Rushing through the grief will bottle up some of it for later and that will never be healthy.